Do Children Sleep in Grow Bags?

My adorable cubs.

Today's job de jour is to clean out the temporary holding cell of Cubbage Clothing (the boiler cupboard). Sort the clothing into piles that fit and piles that don't. Then to Re-file in a more appropriate place.

I no longer feel that a stack of freshly laundered clothing is improved any by having a boiler drip onto them. I did briefly entertain the idea of cutting out the middle man. No longer putting them through the washing machine, and further reducing the energy bills by making the Cubs sit in there, fully clothed. They could have a wash and clean their rancid school uniforms at the same time.
However, I felt this was a little too akin to Chinese water torture and prefer to come up with my own ingenious ways of tormenting the kids.
I am finding that being a member of the PTA and just turning up at their schools is quite sufficient to cause maximum embarrassment to them and elicit cries of "Oh Mum! how could you?" I have attempted to blink out of existence at a moments notice. All in the spirit of saving them the soul crushing humiliation of admitting they were born of man but I just don't seem to have made much of a success of it as yet. *note to self, Must Try Harder*
They are currently missing in action (at their Dad's).
So I have thought this would be a fine opportunity to go through their possessions and remove any that I, as a responsible despot deem surplus to requirement.

I always find it a harrowing experience. Entering the lair of the Teenbeast is not to be taken lightly. You will find an array of pants and socks that could either save humanity from cancer or wipe out the national debt. (let's face it after a bubonic like episode the country would have less mouths to feed). There are the tangled bedclothes that seem to show he was wrestling with inner daemons during his sleeping hours. I ask you, dear reader, why is he incapable of keeping a fitted sheet on a mattress? Does if offend him in some way and he has to wrest from it's anchoring corners to be flung aside?
However, I shall do my duty as dotting Mummykins and reassemble his carnage and find a space to store his darling, precious garments. (What will be left of them after the refiling! mwahahah)

Next up will be the Abode of the Boglin Princess. Why is it that small girls permanently smell of biscuits? I may take on an experiment to feed her just cabbage in the weeks to come, and see if the slightly damp, vanilla scent diminishes slightly. I also have puzzled, over the years where all the glitter comes from. After a just ten minutes in her company you will go about your business, only to be told that you have a fleck of glitter upon your person. Where does it come from? Does she sweat glitter? Maybe it is an essential part of Boglin hair? Her barnet is often so boglinesque that I swear a mouse is in residence. Perhaps he is a Disco mouse and adorns his downy fur with multi coloured glitter for his disco nights?
Dear Boglin has a large array of garments. She is a fashionista extraordinaire and could wear a different outfit everyday of the year without having to use the same garment twice. However, around 80% of this wardrobe of delights is now far too small. It was only a couple of month ago I culled the Boglin's wardrobe, and yet here I am again.
I am aware she has a hearty appetite. I do wonder if she is allowed to eat as many servings of lunch at school as she does here. If so do they have an outside caterer just to fill her needs? Or are all the other children shadowy waifs, who have the grey pallid faces of the underfed. Sitting at her feet, begging for scraps from her plate, as she has once more eaten the whole kitchen out of food?
Despite her healthy and hearty appetite, I hasten to add, that I have seen more fat on a sparrow's knee cap. She is still clinging to the delicious shape of a small girl, although age is creeping in and turning her into a teen! She may eat for Britain but she has a the balanced diet nutritionists around the world applaud. She loves fresh fruit and veg and can easily put away as much as any full grown man.
If she is enjoying such a healthy and fulfilling diet it has to be going somewhere. She sure as hell is not overweight in any sense. She is a beautiful image of an eleven year old girl. The only thing that can be done to accommodate this consumption of good home cooking can be height. Ergo, this must be the answer.
With good health among children comes good growth. My two are certainly taking this as the rule.
In conclusion, they do not sleep in grow bags. They have a good and healthy diet!
NB. I may have to raise the door frames to stop them bumping their heads within the next year or so.