Tuesday, 28 February 2012
A desk sized sewing kit.
2. Use all the utensils in the kitchen that you may think will do the job.
3. Discover they won't.
4. Almost remove the pads of your finger and thumb on the metal.
5. Shout up the stairs "Nothing, everything is fine", when DD enquires about the banging and swearing.
6. Finally carve the hole by using the rusty blade of an old waiter's friend.
7. Use a sharp pair of scissors to "tidy" the edges.
8. Bleed into the sink a bit.
9. Swear and curse as you utilise every housewives trick to try to remove the sticky glue from the glass jar.
10. Decant mint sauce into the washed jar and use the mint sauce jar instead because it has a nice paper label that is easy to remove.
11. Clean up the blobs of mint sauce from the kitchen counter.
12. Hunt down some nice fabric.
13. Pick off the bits of fleece/unspun silk that linger in the bottom of the sewing basket.
14. Sniff to check it doesn't smell of manky old sheep.
15. Draw around the lid on to some stiff card.
16. Do it again.
17. And again.
18. Cut out the circle and place it upon the fabric.
19. Cut roughly around the card placed upon the fabric.
20. Do it again because it is too small.
21. Place cotton wool balls in the middle of the fabric scrap.
22. Place the board on top of the cotton wool.
23. Glue the fabric around the edges.
24. Staple the fabric around the edges because the glue isn't sticking.
25. Push the padded circle into the lid ring.
26. Realise you didn't account for the extra width of the fabric and staples.
27. Cut a smaller circle and repeat actions 19-25 leaving out action 23.
28. Glue some contrasting cord around the edge to make it "pretty".
29. Hunt down some sewing essentials.
30. Drop pins into DD's electrical gizmos and hope you don't all explode.
31. Screw the top back on and enjoy you handy work.